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Apr 25, 2014

Cell-o-Mania!

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By Rashmi Diana, India [ Published Date: October 3, 2010 ]

ÖÖÖ.Ok so here I am again, to tell you guys a few sides of ONE story; I know I have taken longer than two elephantsí gestation periods, one after the other, to come back, but I knew where to come running, when I came back from my hiatus.

Well, hereís the story, this sort of a thing would never happen to me .........or so I deluded. Anyway, I had to ride a bus in crowded Bangalore (Iím too apathetic to use the ďpoliticallyĒ correct name to the city. It may be a necessity, but not pressing enough. If the living condition of 10 families below the poverty line could change for the better just by changing names, I would gladly change mine. Looky, looky.... just like me, going of the track just as the train is about to pick up speed) back to the story....after waiting for give or take an hour, the bus to my destination finally arrived, there were hardly 5 people at the platform before the bus arrived, but within a second there were a swarm of people pushing each other to get inside and find a seat, while I did marvel at their ability of mobility, I couldnít care less if I get a seat or not, it would be enough for me to get inside and get home. So, after being pushed and badgered for a good 5 minutes, I managed to get inside, Oh! Did I tell you I was talking over the cell phone before the bus arrived? Well, I was, but I excused myself and told the person on the other end that I would call back and dropped the handset into my bag and then loop back to the marvellously mobile crowd, the pushing and the works.

Managed to get on to the bus (That should be a story in itself, because it really was an achievement for me) but as bored as you may be, thereís more to THIS story. After getting on to the bus I realized there was still a few minutes left before it could start on its journey and I thought I had enough time to finish my conversation. You guessed it right, I put my hand in the bag to pull out the handset and continue the conversation and my hand comes up empty, if I could do this a couple of more times I could kick some serious magician butt. Anyway, although I was very sure I had put the handset where I always put it when it is not in use, I searched the whole bag, got down to see if I had dropped it while in waiting, still nothing. I believed, since I had pulled a trick already of having the handset disappear I could make it reappear and hence search No. 2 of the bag. While I was rummaging through my bag, I lifted my eyes for a brief moment and looked into another pair of eyes, looking into mine, well dressed, handsome, was accompanying a group of female relatives, very caring; perfect situation for a love story? Well, It could have been, except he was laughing at my misery, not so much a laugh but the smile of a Cheshire cat WHO HAD MY CELL, either that or he knew who the actual Cheshire cat was, either ways bad bad bad cat. By now I knew he was the culprit and kept staring daggers at him, but he couldnít control his laughter. So thatís that, I lost my cell, to this blumming idiot, with that my confidence in my alertness. Now letís decipher our little situation.

When I started off this piece, I mentioned: ďmany sides to one storyĒ:

 Well, side A, never been a fan of cell phones, it is just a luxury, lives CAN be lead without cell phones, my friends will vouch for this statement of mine because I never pick calls and donít have the courtesy to call back. If I ever get arrested it would be for not picking up my calls. But at that moment I am thinking, Oh, what if someone calls and I donít pick up, they must think I am rude. Then a small voice inside me says: Hello! You have left the rudeness factor several stops behind, that tag is going to stay, so donít worry about not picking the calls now, just think of what the plan of action is going to be to recover your cell from this high on nitrous thief.

Side B, when someone is laughing at you or staring at you unnecessarily, it is usually a norm to call someone on your list and talk to him/her loudly and tell them how you were in the presence of the biggest moron in the history of morons. Oh I missed my cell and the more I missed it the more I stared at him.................and the more he laughed.

Side C, that day I made a new friend, the little voice in my head and little did I realize what a pain in the wrong place this friendship could turn out to be. Every time I stared at him I stared a little harder, and this little voice says: stop it! You stare at him one more time and heís going to think you need something and dish out his business card and tell you, heís a sales man for used cell phones and you may as well buy it from him, you can choose your own cell and save the trouble of making a list all over again, and passing your new number around, because thatís the only inconvenience really.

Side D, I am generally decent and to myself but now I find myself not only staring daggers at a boy but at his tight pant pockets to see if thereís a bulge (while his mother, who is among his entourage of female relatives, is talking to me through her eyes: quit looking at my boy that way! And my eyes are telling her no no Mama nooooooooo, your little boy is really a little scallywag teach him some good before you put him in THAT market) in the shape of my cell not so much because I want my cell back but because murderís been committed down on the confidence road and I want justice. I will doubt my alertness every moment I am out of the house; Iíll feel my bag to see if everything in place every time a person passes by me. Boy! Am I going to have a tough time with myself and my new best friend, atleast for the next 2-3 months until both of us forget the incident.

Side E, I am very aggressive and lose cool AND take defensive action when someone violates all norms of basic human courtesy but I was unusually calm, I surprised myself actually, maybe I didnít care enough for a cell phone, or that particular handset or didnít give a damn about the little inconvenience it could cause me over the next few days. But I know I was wrong, I am not bothered doesnít mean nobody else is, he is going to take that bus again and pull more such stunts and inconvenience more people, thatís going to be on me. I had him I should have done something. I donít know if side E is actually my concern or my little voiceís but itís a concern, alright. I could have been sarcastic, Iím good at that, I could have smiled at him flirted with him and casually said: ďNow can I have my cell back?Ē But thatís in retrospect. No action, no result. We talk so much about keeping your cool in a tight situation, well when a tight situation comes cool is the first thing that you lose. Like mine for instance, Iíve been so mad at myself lately, I donít even remember if I lost my cell phone first or my cool.

Side F_ _ _, This is the most important side. The guy who stole my cell must be thinking, what an idiot, she knew I had it, she was so close, she could have had me for breakfast, lunch and dinner but she stood there biting her teeth at me instead of moving her backside and doing something about it. If I can get a couple of idiots like her every day, I wonít have to worry about working all my life.

Well, to that I say Piss on you too mate! I can write about it, can you?

Side G, Boy! This is sooooooo wrong on so many different levels, but I must thank the freaking, anti hero of a shameless co existing homosapien, for he got my emotions to wake up and move, they have been dead for a while now. It was funny and I felt like talking about it and I am doing it. Thanks to him I am writing for myself after a very long time. So he did one good thing, he had me look at the lighter side of a cell phone.

The funniest part of the incident is that, ironically my day started with a, very optimistic feeling of: we can and we will make a difference is passť,  today it is going to be we could and we did make a difference.......bull crap. I had a chance which went a begging.

So I say: If you donít learn from your mistakes you are a fool, you should find a new planet for yourself; if you learn from your mistakes, you are good, we can make some place for you on our planet; but the planet belongs to those, who learn from otherís mistakes. Here I am offering myself as the OTHERíS MISTAKE, learn from me. Now, Iím not saying donít lose your cell, lose your cell, itís a good thing, but lose it to someone who is going to be around you for you to take action and make sure take your cell back.  ?????????????????????????? No Iím perfectly alright! I just donít feel too attached to my cell phone. It would have been a different story, if he had touched one of my books or my CDs. Well, the last statement is for only those who love me and still believe in my ability to fight back. Well..............be alert be safe.

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Shiji, Malaysia:
It felt like you were right here talking to me..:)
Loved the mad flow of words.
roopesh shetty, India :
simply great
Total Comments: 2   Showing: 1-2
 

 
 
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