|By Charmaine Albuquerque, India [ Published Date: June 25, 2005 ]|
In the recent past a hue and cry has been raised about an educational institution in 'Aamchi Mumbai' refusing admission to children of divorced parents.
This makes one wonder if the poor child is being blamed for the divorce of the parents. Do our religious and other 'critical' brethren have a right to be 'Armchair Critics'? What can be worse than subjecting these children to more humiliation and psychological anxiety? Instead of reaching out to them, we are shutting doors.
Is this what Christianity is all about?
The vows of a Christian wedding say 'Till death do us apart', but what if the marriage is doomed from the very beginning? We know for a fact that most Indian marriages are arranged and it is also a known fact that only when you live under the same roof, can we know a persons true colours.
....It's no Herculean task that in these circumstances marriages fail....
Yet in our rush to celebrate 'weddings' and not 'marriages', we go around match-fixing based on friendship, caste (yes this does matter even today to many), religion, avoi- bapoi ani kutamb bori asa ba, Americacho novroba, mostu poishe asat ba and the like, making it a merger of two families more than a union of two compatible individuals. The day won’t be far when in our quest for false prestige and wealth, we too will go about signing pre-nuptial agreements as in the West.
Yet inspite of being aware that the ingredients to a successful marriage like love, trust and compatibility are missing, we expect such marriages to work. It’s no Herculean task that in these circumstances marriages fail. It’s also no wonder then that the divorce rates in our Mangalorean Catholic Community in on a steady rise, no matter how much we may deny it.
Marriage involves love, sharing, sacrifice, patience, trust, selflessness, etc. Sadly these are the qualities of a vanishing breed of people. Presently we see people who lead high strung lives of economic independence from their spouse and don’t need to grin and bear with each other’s faults. This however does not mean that one grins and bears beatings, drunkenness, infidelity and the endless stream of lies that may have been told at the time of arranging the union!
This can only mean that,
It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.
It’s time to act before it is too late and remedy our outlook to marriages.
It’s time to ensure that ‘marriages’ and not ‘weddings’ take place.
It’s time to see that acquisitions and mergers are not the thing of the day but rather a meaningful union of two people.
Only once this happens can instances like the aforementioned one in Mumbai be avoided; only then will our children have a right to be educated in Institutes of our choice.