Pics by: Violet Pereira

" It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was "--Anne Sexton

Yes, June 17 is Father's Day, and on this day I sincerely remember my father who passed away few years back. I miss my father who was a very caring, jovial and a fun loving person. He used to always give me extra pocket money, but warned me not to disclose it to my mom. He is the one who let me eat chocolates and ice-cream for breakfast, when my mother was not around. I remember asking my dad one day  to take me to the Mysore Zoo when I was a kid. " Daddy, will you take me to the zoo!". He replied, " If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you !?" He used to always crack some jokes and kept our family happy. He supported our family, and fondly took care of me and my two elder brothers. To my fun dad, I say, " Happy Father's Day ! And I miss you very dearly".

Yes, it's time again to commemorate Father's Day--a celebration inaugurated in the early twentieth century to complement Mother's Day in celebrating fatherhood and male parenting, and to honor fathers, grandfathers and forefathers. Father's Day is celebrated on various dates worldwide, which involves gift-giving, and special dinners to fathers and family-oriented activities. Usually Father's Day is celebrated on the 3rd Sunday of June every year, and this year many countries, including India will celebrate Father's Day on June 17. Fathers, in most families, are our special unsung heroes. They rarely ever get their fair share of adulation --so this Father's Day be your way to spread the message of love and affection. Express your love in words and deeds, hold his hands or give him a hug, and say that you love him, care for him in tender and loving words. I bet this will make his eyes shine with happiness and pride.

" He is not only my brother, he is like a father too " --Alfie D'Souza (standing) seen with his brother Rudy ( Ottawa, USA)

Saying it with kisses on Father's Day --Dad Loy D'Souza (Mangalore) is flanked by his daughters (L-R) Leisha and Sasha

" Behind every successful father, is a successful daughter " --Jasmine Lautrup (Tennesse, USA) shares a hug with her dad, Dan

Grandpas are very special persons to their grandkids --Joe D'Souza (Mangalore) showing some love and affection to his granddaughters, Annabelle (Left) and Alexis

" My dad, is my hero!" --Loy D'Souza sharing some intimate moments with his dad, John D'Souza

" I am mightier than you dad!" says Astel to his dad, Joseph Pereira

From taking their kids to school, shopping etc; etc;--dads do it all!

The love between a father and son is always unconditional, no matter where and when.

He may be a rickshaw driver, but he is like a father to these school going kids.

So cute! Dad and daughter taking a walk in the park

Grandparents are also very caring and loving 'baby-sitters' too!

" A family that prays together, stays together!" --Dad Brian D'Souza (Las Vegas, USA) with mom Viola, and daughters Alexis and Annabelle

The concept of celebrating Father's Day is very new in India, started less than a decade ago after being imported from western countries, mainly United States. Observing a day in honor of fathers has been appreciated by millions of Indians today, by expressing gratitude for their father or men who are like father. Several schools and cultural societies in India organize various programs on this day. The idea behind such events is to inspire children to show love, respect and caring for their dad. In the same time fathers are also encouraged to spend some quality time with their kids and instill in them noble values and good manners.
Father's Day is a celebration of all the wonderful things that dads do. It's a day to give thanks for their wisdom, principles, confidence, strength and unconditional love. It's a day set aside to make sure dads know how much they are loved every day of the year.

Your father is the one you always turn for advice, quite encouragement and support. He is your guardian and a guide, someone that you can count on and to be always on your side. Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be called dad. He is the one who helped you through your childhood fears and failures, and turned all that he could into successes and dreams. He is the person, whose devotion to his family is marked by gentle strength and guidance, and whose love of life, sense of direction, and down-to-earth wisdom is appreciated by his kith and kin. He is the one who will hold you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail.

It's little things that make dads heroes--things not often seen, sacrifices made, while living out each day's routine. The things he knows he must do, the "being there" when each day's through, and the love that builds up trust between him and his family. There's a certain kind of caring that dads express silently through kindness, generosity, and devotion...and this, with all its quite power, means far more than anything spoken loud. Dads need to be appreciated by one and all, for their love and sacrifices.

" It is easier for a father to have children than children to have a true and real father "--Pope John XXIII. Good guys make things happen and get things done with pride. Good guys make a difference in their quiet way and wisely wait to see what's the best direction for their family. Good guys do the right thing, care and pray a lot, and go the distance to see their loved ones through. Good guys make great fathers! No doubt at all.

Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure: Uncles, Stepfathers, Grandfathers, "Big Brothers", and adult male friends. So this Father's Day take time to show your dads, and also to those who acted like your dad how much you appreciate them and what they have meant in your lives. For this kind of acknowledgement would be a greater gift than anything that can be bought at any store.

In the absence of my loving dad who passed away few years ago, I express my heartfelt love and gratitude to my dear brothers Joe and Rudy who have been the fatherly figures in my life. And while commemorating Father's Day I express my sincere feelings to my 'fatherly-brothers' with a thought-provoking message.
"Because you are just like a father to me, I have a special place in my heart for you, for being a wonderful presence in my life. When I needed your help, you gave it generously. When I needed your advice, you gave it wisely and thoughtfully. When I needed your friendship, you gave it completely and made it part of me to keep forever. I have in my heart the thankfulness that I found you--to befriend me, believe in me, and celebrate with me. You are just like my father to me, and I love you with all my heart. Happy Father's Day--with love and gratitude on this day and always."

Embattled, sad and prophetic as this story might be, it is one worth telling. It is a reminder that we often wait until it is too late to honor those we love and appreciate the most. While some may roll their eyes when yet another commercial advertising, yet another Father's Day sale interrupts their favorite program, I would advise letting that reminder sink in the back of your mind. Let it nudge when you need nudging. Let it encourage you to do today what you shouldn't put off until tomorrow. Because some day, you just might regret it.

Though my dad is gone, I will honor him still. No, I will not be visiting his grave, because I am not capable of standing at my father's grave. Instead, I will do the things I remember doing with him: take a walk outside, take my daschund puppy for a stroll ( my dad loved dogs, and would always take them out for a walk), do some gardening work, tease my nieces, curse the neighbors for letting their tree branches fall in our yard, and in the same time remember and respect my mother too.

So to all fathers and 'fathers alike', I along with the team members of mangalorean.com wish you a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, and may God bless you all.

About the Author

Alfie D'Souza, was a well known name in Mangalore before he immigrated to United States in 1990. During his college days at St. Aloysius, Mangalore, he was Secretary of Co-Life Association, and also the editor of Co-Life magazine. He was editor of Mangalore Jaycees Bulletin, which twice won the Best Bulletin Awards in Karnataka State Jaycees. He was also the president of Rock Society, a entertainment organization which organised various local and international shows/concerts in the 80' and 90's.

In Illinois, USA, Alfie D'Souza is a regular columnist for The Times--a newspaper published daily in Ottawa,( a Chicago Suburb)who covers various stories of Indian and western origin on various events. He is also the editor of District 1-K Lions Illinois newsletter, and also the editor of Marseilles Lions Club, Illinois newsletter. He is an active member of Indian Catholic Association, Chicago; Mangalorean Konkani Christian Association, Chicago; Knights of Columbus, Ottawa; Ottawa Fine Arts and Music Association; Ottawa First Recreation Association; Ottawa YMCA; Ottawa Chamber of Commerce and Industries.