Experts Stress Importance of Premarital Screening to Prevent Medical, Psychological Marital Problems at ‘Conference on Recent Trends in Women’s Health’
UAE: Pre-marital screening of couples is crucial to prevent genetic disorders, congenital anomalies & several medical, psychological marital problems, according to H.E. Dr Maryam Matar, Founder and Chairperson, UAE Genetic Diseases Association. Speaking at the ‘Conference on Recent Trends in Women’s Health’ at the Millennium Airport Hotel, Dubai on Friday, 17th March 2017, she stressed that pre-marital screening was imperative to examine the detection and prevention of risk at marriages, minimising the prevalence and impact of common genetic disorders.
Leading doctors of the country shared their experience and delivered talks during the conference. Speakers at the conference touched upon the importance of implementing the appropriate guidelines for screening diseases affecting women’s health and employing evidence-based approaches for diagnosis. Developing evidence-based management and treatment strategies to address diseases affecting women was also stressed. They also spoke about the importance of counselling and educating female patients to promote health management and disease prevention.
Speaking on the topic Gestational Diabetes, Dr Kishore Kumar Katam, Specialist Endocrinologist Thumbay Hospital – Ajman suggested preconception counselling, lifestyle modification, adequate antenatal care, choosing the right agent for glycemic control, preferring insulin over other medications and postpartum evaluation as some sure shot ways to keep diabetes at bay, during pregnancy.
Discussing Pre-Eclampsia in Parturient – Evidence Based Approach, Dr Prashanth Hegde, Medical Director and Specialist Gynaecologist Thumbay Hospital – Ajman outlined evidence-based approach in the management of preeclampsia and discussed ways to optimise care for such patients. “Use of Evidence based guidelines coupled with preeclampsia-specific checklists, team training and communication strategies, and continuous process improvement strategies are likely to reduce hypertensive related morbidity and mortality among pregnant and parturient women,” he concluded.
H.E. Dr Maryam Matar, Founder and Chairperson, UAE Genetic Diseases Association (GDA) spoke on the topic Importance of Premarital Screening (PS) and Improving the Quality of Genes. “The Premarital Screening Programin the UAE is mandatory & influences marriage decisions. It plays a crucial role in that it allows informed reproductive decisions. The GDA strives to reduce the prevalence and impact of common genetic disorders in the UAE through preventative awareness programs, screening based on research studies and knowledge sharing, conducted by experts in the field using the most innovative technology at the lowest costs,” she explained.
Speaking on the topic Genetic Engineering – The Next Designer Baby is on the Way, Dr P K Menon, Director of Thumbay Labs discussed in detail the strategies, technologies and implications of genetic engineering with regard to designer babies. Dr Pankaj Srivastav, Consultant Gynecologist Conceive Fertility Hospital – Sharjah outlined the aim, strategies and complications of ovulation induction, discussing the topic Evolving Trends in Ovulation Induction. Dr Osama Mahmoud Rizk Mohamed, Consultant Gynaecologist and Medical Director of Thumbay Hospital Fujairah explained Ovarian Malignancy.
Elaborating on his topic Rehabilitation in Breast Cancer, Dr Praveen Kumar, Dean– College of Allied Health Sciences, GMU said that maintaining a healthy body weight, abstaining from smoking and alcohol and engaging in regular physical activities were some ways to lower the risk of breast cancer. “Exercise is increasingly being implemented as a therapeutic tool inpatients with breast cancer. Physical exercise has shown to be a suitable adjunct therapy to battle long-term chronic conditions and has been successful in reducing mortality and improving the overall quality of life,” he added.
The ‘Conference on Recent Trends in Women’s Health’ was organized by Gulf Medical University – Ajman, in association with the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology – Thumbay Hospitals. Accredited by the Ministry of Health for 5.5 CME hours, the conference was attended by healthcare professionals across broad disciplines including doctors, nurses, researchers and policy makers.
The conference speakers were honoured with mementoes. Certificates were distributed to the seminar attendees.
Probably this is not the right place to say what I wanted to say, but nevertheless let me see if I can get it out of my system:
The most important pre-marital screening test that needs to be carried out in our society is to identify the real intent behind the marriage (everything else is secondary). When you marry someone you have to establish whether the person you are marrying really wants to get married or is it because she is getting old and can no longer rely on her parents as they are also getting old. Most men miss out on this crucial point and as a consequence suffer miserably. When it comes to marriages (especially the Catholic marriages) the Indian society currently is in a state of dangerous flux where the old orthodox traditions combined with the modern western view of materialism has created a dangerous mix of Molotov cocktail which innocuously disguises itself through the initial days of the marriage but then suddenly explodes. The fundamental reason behind this is due to the various people involved in this circus(called marriage) who hope for totally unrealistic expectations out of the union. Being the Indian society for what it is, there are people ranging from the bride and groom themselves all the way to the extended family members from both sides. For the girl’s side it’s more about the pomposity and lavishness of the wedding itself as opposed to focussing on what lies beyond it. They somehow assume that is man’s headache to worry about those things after the wedding. It may have been true 50 years ago but not anymore. Get this fact inside your skull at the earliest. There is more to life than 3-tier wedding cake, corsage, boutonniere, page boy, flower girls, and cocktail parties.
If you want to have a content married life then utmost attention should be paid to these disguised expectations which people have on their minds even before the whole wedding-spectacle begins. Marriage is not a Disney land fairy tale, with ivory castles and flying ponies. Increasingly our society is aping the western materialistic way of thinking. The West has heavily influenced them to develop a sense of entitlement within them to think that others (especially their husbands) owe them a living while they themselves take no responsibility for their actions or failures or unpreparedness. The fault squarely lies with the parents. These self-righteous and clueless parents, without giving it a second thought, bring up their children in such an irresponsible manner that the child does not really know what the practical life means. Their children are least prepared for a life on their own. But the parents think they deserve an award from the society thinking that since they have provided everything their children have asked for, they are the best parents in the world. Nothing could be further from the truth.
When these children eventually grow up, the parents think they have done their duty (in reality they have only ruined them by not preparing them for the real world) and then start their venture to find a scapegoat to tie to their daughter’s neck. That child (now grown up – but only in flesh) once getting married, expects similar ivory tower treatment from their spouse. She thinks that is what she deserves and it’s their husband’s job to provide it. If he tries to bring them into line (by talking common sense), then with the help of their ‘liberal’ relatives and friends begin to evaluate their ‘options’ (read weapons). In India the laws are so biased towards women that even a mere allegation of torture is enough to get the husband arrested without bail. Even if there was no substance to the case it takes years to clear one’s name. But by the end of it when the entire case has been quashed, there is no provision under the law to hold the accuser to account for abusing the system. All these things amount to increasing number of broken marriages in our society.
In the Western society, both man and woman are equal when it comes to the law, so there is no room for such exploitation. If people don’t get along then (most of the times) they just go through the quick legal process and go separate ways. But Indian society is a special basket case. The girls who have been brought up in the most feckless manner try to get the best of both worlds -on one hand they want the freedom and choice that comes readily available in the Western society but at the same time, when things don’t go as per their expectation in marriage, they take resort in the broken legal system in India to abuse it to no end. They pay no special attention towards their career before marriage, instead enjoy all their time and money on enjoyment – shopping malls, Bollywood, holidays and what not. But then when the same comforts get hard to come by after the marriage, their husband suddenly becomes the punching bag. He turns into everyone’s enemy. He becomes the root cause of their unhappiness. The fundamental problem here (i.e. in Indian society) is that most parents bring up their daughters with the mindset that it is husband’s job to provide everything after the marriage. That’s where the conflicts arise. As a consequence those wives don’t want to take responsibilities to their own failures and weaknesses. This is the reason marriages (especially in big cities) are breaking down.
There is another real reason why this happens time and again in our society. It’s because of the way the marriages happen. I must agree the things are improving now (albeit slowly) but most of the times alliances happen in the least conducive way possible. There is no practical way you can fully understand the person you are marrying. To begin with, the boy is settled in a distant place due to his job and hardly finds enough time to dedicate into finding the right partner. Due to your culture (and religion) you are consciously/subconsciously are somehow forced to find a life partner from your own community. So you strive hard to find someone, who more often than not happens to live in a distant place, perhaps another country. You hardly get any time and opportunity between your job to dedicate towards this. You come across someone who you think could be a potential candidate. And this is where the problem begins.
You meet them once and for some reason you are not so sure about it in the first meeting. You have doubts inside your head that you want to clarify before you go to the next level. There are some obvious good things that you have found in that person but you are concerned about what’s not so visible. Indian society still follows orthodoxy when it comes to alliances therefore the second time you try to meet that same person to find out more, they assume you have already liked the person. If you meet for the second time and then don’t follow it through, then you will be condemned as a deserter. Secondly, even if you go ahead with the proposal, there is hardly anything that really comes to the surface (i.e. flaws) because if you ask any involved questions (to clarify your doubts) then you are looked at as being someone uncouth and arrogant. There is no practical way in our society to fully understand the person. The funny thing is you only get one chance to go through all this and you have to get it right and hope your stars assure you that elusive happiness. If this venture fails then the same society looks at you as a failure.
All said and done, there are a few things you can watch out for before you enter into this phase of life called getting marriage. You should know how to separate the wheat from the chaff. It can be a difficult thing to do but sooner you do it, less worries for you later. The things to watch out for are:
1. Look at the parents. Their outward look, talk, experiences etc. tells you what you need to know, especially how they brought up their children etc. Pay attention to how much they dedicated resources and commitment towards their children’s upbringing/education. Once you analyse these things you will get a picture.
2. Women fight hard these days for equal rights, so you have to make sure that they also understand that the responsibility towards your eventual family also is equal between partners, it is just not husband’s alone. This wily thinking of resorting to old patriarchal Indian system when it comes to responsibility while taking shelter under the modern Western philosophy of equality when it comes to personal rights (equality) is a real trap for Indian men. Pay special attention here.
3. Watch out for those types whole life revolves around watching Bollywood, soap operas, over obsession with social media, compulsive mall shopping, and frequent holidays. These are the same people who would have attended the college for ‘fun’, not to become something in life. Stay clear of those.
4. Do not fall for the looks. If beauty is what you are after, go on a Europe trip and visit the brothels. They are quite hygienic, I am reliably told. Beauty lasts only for a couple of weeks after the wedding. After that it’s totally inconsequential to your marriage. In fact it becomes a burden on you. Watch out for this!!!!!
5. If your fiancée is far too much obsessed with the ‘big day’, be very careful. Danger lies ahead. You are better off dumping her even if causes a short term turmoil in your family.
6. Pay special attention to whether the person you are intending to marry (and her family) have thirst for knowledge, intellectual curiosity and concerns about worldly matters. The woman you marry may have body of a 25 year old but if she has a mind of a 12 year old then you might as well get a pet.
7. Always try to find out if your fiancée really wants to marry you, or is she doing it because she couldn’t find a better one. Is she marrying you because of you or because of your money or status? Most of the marriages take place out of desperation. Don’t fall into that trap. There is nothing big to lose in waiting for a few more years to get married. If the person you married did not really like you (to begin with) then that marriage is doomed to fail.
8. Men should always remember, when you decide to get married (in India), as far as the laws are concerned, the odds are against you. If your marriage works out as planned consider yourself lucky. But if it fails, then the woman has all the legal advantage no matter how right or wrong she is. Pay special attention to this aspect. Even if there is not a single evidence of wrongdoing against you, you can still end up destitute and penniless. Play your cards wisely. Increasing number of women in India have started using this legal weapon to get what they want. You have nothing in your favour.
9. Lastly, there is no compulsion that you should get married. If you don’t want to die alone, then marriage is not the only option. Think of the alternatives. Until then enjoy your life while doing good to others.
By the way I am not painting a broad brush here to point finger at every woman in India but increasing number of women in India (especially those from the affluent background, brought up in the cities, who go pubbing and clubbing every weekend) have learnt the tricks of the trade called marriage. Pay special attention.
Wow!. This view point is so detailed that it merits the place of an article actually. The language is quite impressive and the content is mature. Far better than some of the articles which we are accustomed to read day in and day out. I could not help but agree with the author mostly on the points of unnecessary lavishness and subsequent challenges. I have to go through the article one more time. Three cheers.
Thank you drona. Let me email this in an article form to the editor. They can decide if they wish to publish it. What I want is the discussion going.