Seniors, Think Twice Before Signing WILL-You Could Be on Streets?
Former Assistant Commissioner Dr Ashok ordered a man to take care of his ageing parents who were forced to vacate his house. If seniors have any problems of abuse, harassment, torture by their children can call- Senior Citizens Helpline at Toll Free Number 1090 (BSNL and Tata Docomo Customers only) others dial 0824- 2421190 or 0824-2436631; or seniors having Alzheimer’s or Dementia, you can call Jerardin D’souza, the founder of Mangalore Alzheimer’s Association at 9844074759; 08242433341. Our Elders must be advised to make a will in time.
Mangaluru: Gone are the days when children used to love and take care of their elderly parents until their death- but not any more. Sadly time has changed now, with many children either when they are single or after marriage, slowly try to neglect their ageing parents, harass them, try to kick them out or admit them in a Elderly Home. This is rude and being ungrateful to your parents who gave you birth, brought you up, they made sacrifices so that you could come up in your life- and what they get in returns- nothing but ungratefulness and torture. Yes, there are reasons for children- single or married ( may be the daughter-in-law won’t get along with mother-in-law) etc etc- but you need to work things out and rectify such family issues and make your parents live happily with you, rather than abuse them, harass them, or put them in Old-age home or simply kick them out of the house.
How do you know that your parent is in need of intervention? Are you really seeing a problem or are you imagining it? You see, most of us really don’t want to see that our parents are beginning to have problems. Their arms have always been strong enough to hold us, their minds have always been sharp enough to give us the answers we were looking for, and we don’t want to believe that those times may be coming to a close. Most of the time, our parents won’t admit it, either, and often get angry if it is suggested to them that they may be needing more help than they used to. Since it is hard to accept, and harder still to confront, many of us leave the issue as the white elephant in the middle of the living room.
We know there is a problem, but no one wants to mention it. Sadly, with this head-in-the-sand philosophy, you and your parents will end up with some serious issues. Having open discussions and knowing what their desires are will help you make wiser choices when the time comes.Talk About It before It Happens. Ideally, you can discuss things before they happen. Hopefully, you will talk to your parents when they are still younger and not having problems. Ideally, you will come to a place where you and they have reached decisions about what to do, “just in case…”.
It is hard to bring the subject up, but if you are still years away from dealing with their aging problems, please do broach this important issue. Above all, be gentle. No one wants to get old, no one wants to lose their independence. It is a difficult time for everyone but it will be even more difficult if you aren’t sensitive to your parents’ needs. If you see any of these signs in your parents, discuss your thoughts with them. Share your concerns and see what they say. Try to get them in to the doctor if you think it is necessary. The doctor can point you to various agencies that may be able to help, and can more closely observe your parent the next time they are in for an appointment. So all you children, it is very much advisable that you sort out ways to deal with your ageing parents, rather than neglect them.
On the other hand, to all you seniors this report is for you- if you have been abused, harassed, tortured etc by your children, there is help for you. The Senior Citizens’ Helpline situated in the premises of the Mangalore South Police station at Pandeshwar was initiated by Vishwas Trust for the Elderly. This was the first service of the kind in the whole of our country to which in the year 2005 , the Mangalore Telecom division had allotted a four digit Toll Free number 1090 ( only BSNL and Tata Docomo customers only), others dial 0824-2421190 or 0824-2436631. This facility has fulfilled its purpose several fold. The Senior Citizen Helpline does not merely give directions, advice and direct the Elderly with procedures for obtaining benefits like Old Age pension, Widow pension, Senior Citizen card, Aadhar Card, Pan Card, Voter’s Id and such others.
A typical case of parents abuse had come to the Helpline and the story was shared with Team Mangalorean by Lidwin Lobo-coordinator-Vishwas trust senior citizen help line, where she also said, “Several more examples can be added to show how common such situations exist in our society but manifested in different ways. Some cases like the one below could be resolved within four days. While some other cases have taken longer than a year. One case of three years duration is just coming to a close”.
Lidwin said, ” A senior citizen couple aged 76 and 69 years came to Vishwas Trust, Senior Citizen Help Line together with their married daughter. They were in tears because their son was harassing them and wants them to vacate the house in which they presently live. On the pretext of renovating the house and after which he intended to build a separate room for them with all the facilities, so that they can live comfortably The Senior Citizen approached the Assistant Commissioner for help and the son made the assistant Commissioner believe that the house is in a bad condition and may collapse at any time. It is very dangerous for his parents to live there and he intends to renovate or rebuilt the house and give the parents a comfortable life”.
“The Senior Citizen said that the house was built by him and he had transferred it to son’s name. Once the son got married he and his wife started living separately. But now and then he would come and trouble the parents telling them to vacate the house. Helpline Social Workers made it a point to visit the house, where we found that the house seemed to be in good condition and did not need neither renovation nor reconstruction. The visiting Social Worker clicked photos and submitted a report to the Assistant Commissioner; Department of the Disabled and Aged concerned Police Officer, and to the District Commissioner.” added Ms Lobo.
She further said, “After seeing the report and photos Assistant Commissioner himself visited the spot. Being satisfied with the report he permitted the parents to continue living in the same house during their life time and there should be no renovation or reconstruction unless the aged parents ask for it. He ordered the son to take care of their elderly parents who were forced to vacate the house. Seniors Helpline volunteers are in constant touch with the elderly couple to make sure that they are not harassed or tortured or abused by their son or his wife. “
This is one case and it should alert the middle aged approaching old age who are reading this article “Parents please do not transfer your property or any assets like jewelry and other things in your children’s name, otherwise you could be on streets. If you are been tortured or abused by your children, don’t even bother to sign any documents or WILL. Make sure you read what is mentioned in the WILL or other documents- and only when you are sure that you will be looked after well by your children-then only make your decision or contact the Senior Citizens Helpline at Toll Free Number 1090 (BSNL and Tata Docomo Customers) or 0824- 2421190 or 0824-2436631; or seniors having Alzheimer’s or Dementia, you can call Jerardin D’souza, the founder of Mangalore Alzheimer’s Association at 9844074759; 08242433341. Our Elders must be advised to make a will in time.
Also Read Related Articles Below: