Married & Lived Happily Thereafter! Vintage Couples Share their Love Stories on Valentine’s Day
Mangaluru: In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, Team Mangalorean takes a spin through history’s greatest lovers—star crossed, cursed, life-long, and everything in between. Love is a powerful emotion. Throughout history couples in love have caused wars and controversy, created masterpieces in writing, music, and art, and have captured the hearts of the public with the power of their bonds. From the allure of Cleopatra to the magnetism of the Kennedy’s, to Bollywood’s Bachchan’s , these love affairs have stood as markers in history. And here we present a few of our local vintage “LOVE BIRDS” who have remained faithful and truthful to each other even after 4-5 decades of their wedded life and were happy to share their secret of happy married life, with the present generation, where many newly wedded couples have broken up within a year, few months, a month and in some cases within a DAY? Prepare to swoon over these love stories of the decades.
Quoting Helen Keller “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”-Today, Valentine’s Day means different things to different people. For new romantic interests and for long-married couples, it may remain a day to exchange tokens of affection like flowers, candy, or cards. But there are many more ways to show the people you care about how much they mean to you. Especially for seniors who have lived long and full lives, love is not confined to just a romantic partner. It expands boundlessly to extended families, many friends, and even the acquaintances they interact with every day who make their lives happier.
Even pictures and warm memories of loved ones who have passed can bring seniors a sense of joy and contentment. Valentine’s Day is our cultural reminder to enjoy a loving state of mind. Gratitude is one of the most important gateways to a loving state of mind. Like Saint Mother Teresa said “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” , and Team Mangalorean with a smile, met a few of our local Love Birds in their sixties & Seventies who were all in smiles to share their memories of Happy Married life to be incorporated in Mangalorean.com. Everyone can experience senior love, whether you are married for decades, widowed, single, or dating. Marriage is hard. Everyone from Academy Award-winning actors to your hair stylist to the supermarket clerk in telling newlyweds this. Of course they rarely have a helpful answer for how to overcome the difficulties. Newly married couples get a lot of “never go to bed angry,” and “always tell the truth.” And that’s it. However, with our senior love birds featured here, they all have a different kind of stories to tell-so enjoy!
MELCHIADES & LYNETTE J N PINTO : Happily Married for 53 years
Born in 1942, Melchiades had his early schooling at Bejai School and then completed his B Com at St Aloysius College, Mangaluru, after which he worked as an accountant at a company in Mumbai from 1966-1977. From 1977 till 1981 he worked in Saudi Arabia, and returned back to Mumbai for good in 1981, after which he was involved in various social service activities and Church related activities, which he enjoyed doing for 22 years. He was actively involved in the Mumbai Diocese in the – Family Counselling; Lay Eucharistic Ministry; Crisis Intervention Centre for Distress Women and Children. He used to take Eucharist to the sick people at their homes, about 12 houses per week, and also helped in giving communion during daily mass at Amboli church-Mumbai.
LYNETTE J N PINTO : Born on 12 March 1944, she did her schooling and PUC at St Agnes School/College, Mangaluru and then did her secretarial course, which was a great course for women those days. Later she worked as an account s assistant for 25 years ( 1965-1990) at Atlas Copco (India) Ltd, a Swedish firm, and after her retirement she started counselling distressed women & Children at her home, apart from involving in various social service projects and Church activities for nearly 22 years. She was in church choir singing for the daily English mass at her parish in Mumbai.
Now coming to their marriage, theirs was a unique love Marriage, during the time when only a few love marriages happened. They both fell in love while they were singing in the Bejai church choir , when they were still in high school, and had courtship for nearly 10 years. They got married in 1967, Melchiades was 24 and Lynette was 22 years old, and for 54 years they have enjoyed a happy married life, and Lynette stood by her husband even though Melchiades fell sick of internal health problems on the day one of their wedded life, leaving everything in the hands of God.
When asked about the secret of their long wedded life, they both said, “Jesus was the centre of our friendship, He was our friend, a mentor and He kept us together for 54 years, and we truly believe that Jesus was the Centre of our married life. After five years of our married life, God revealed to us that we can’t have children but we coped with it, and in our married life God put his mission to be fulfilled. We never heard of the word ‘FIGHT’ or ‘ARGUMENT’,since we were among the First Love Birds of that time. We also did theology in Mumbai for seven years and two years of Word of God Ministry, thus keeping our lives busy. We don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, because everyday is a Valentine’s Day for us.
Regarding our advice for the present young couples, “Believe and trust in God moment by moment, because He will protect and help you in your married life, if at all there are any ups and downs. Since we also attended many spiritual conferences, that too will help keep your marriage bond strong. Prayers have also kept us together. Follow our footsteps and you will never break up with a divorce. Trust Us!”.
G RADHAKRISHNA RAO & SUDHA R RAO : Happily married for 56 years
Born on 30 May 1940, Radhakrishna did his schooling Udupi Govt School, and then pursued his B Sc (CBZ) at MGM College, Udupi, after which he worked for Syndicate Bank as a Officer, and retired after 33 years of service.
Sudha Rao born on 24 October 1940, did her schooling in Puttur Govt School until SSLC, after which she remained as a faithful housewife after marriage. Radhakrishna and Sudha got married on 15 May 1964 at Venkataramana Temple and are the proud parents of three girls- Nalini, Shamala and Nandi, all of them married and settled in Bengaluru and Mangaluru. Even though their marriage was a family relationship, where both of them were of 24 years when they got married, but until now they both have been faithful and truthful to each other, and never had any quarrels whatsoever. Having married for the last 56 years, they both had mutual understanding and believed in each other.
Their advice for the present newly married couples is- Make sure you keep good relationships with your parents, relatives, and elders and seek advice from them if there are any hurdles in your married life. Keep your selves active in various activities, especially yoga for health benefits, like we do. Settle your problems if any, in a systematic and understanding way, without taking wrong decisions, to end your relationship.
ARTHUR FERNANDES & LETICIA FERNANDES – Happily Married for 56 years
Born on 14 September 1936, Arthur did his schooling at Bejai School (till 5th std), and at St Aloysius High School till SSLC, after which he went to Mumbai seeking a suitable job, since his dad was a well-to-do and influential person in Mumbai. Working at a printing press in Mumbai for six months, he returned to Mangaluru and did his automobile course at KPT, Mangaluru. From 1953 till 1958, he worked at a printing press, automobile company, after which he started his own firewood & Timber business in Mangaluru in 1958 which lasted only for nine years, going after a loss due to partnership. Following which he worked as an accountant for PFX Saldanha, Falnir, Mangaluru for 24 years before retiring.
Leticia was born on 2 October 1946, and did her schooling at Derebail School , high school at LadyHill School, and PUC at Government College, Mangaluru. After her husband went out of business in his timber firm. and to support the family Leticia took up teacher training course, and later worked as a teacher at Lady hill School, and St Ann’s School, for 32 years. Arthur and Leticia were married on 27-4-1964, where he was 27 and 6 months and she was just 17 years and six months on their wedding day. Theirs was a one sided love, where a relative of Leticia fixed her marriage with Arthur, and he remained as a secret admirer until their marriage day.
Proud parents of two boys- Ashok and Allan, Arthur and Leticia’s secret of 56 years of married life is mutual understanding, no big fights instead petty quarrels lasting for a few minutes (which is natural) and they trusted and helped each other during times of hardships. Their advice for the present married couples is – If you get involved in an argument or a quarrel, settle it within yourselves soon, because problems do arise in married life, which needs to be worked out between husband and wife; adjust yourselves and understand each other, which will last your married life forever. Living together requires consideration and care; and recognize mistakes and apologize sincerely.
MANJUNATH NAYAK & MAYA NAYAK- Happily Married for 43 years
Born on 4 August 1949, Manjunath did his schooling at Board High School, Karkala and then his B Sc at Bhuvenandra College-Karkala, after which he worked for Canara Bank as a Clerk for seven years, before migrating to Bahrain, where he worked as officer at Bahrain British Bank of Middle East for 25 long years ( 1976-2000)- and then returned back to Mangaluru.
Maya Nayak , born on 19 November 1955, did her Schooling at Jain High school, and B Sc at Mahaveera College, both in Moodabidri. She never took up any employment after graduation, but has remained a faithful wife after marriage to her devoted husband. Marriage of Manjunath and Maya took place on 31 May 1978 at S V Temple Karkala, and it was a huge wedding with a large gathering- and the best part was that the marriage was fixed within eight days after proposal. They both are proud parents of two boys- Manohar, a engineer who died in 2018 due to medical negligence, and Manoj, a MBA graduate working in Abu Dhabi.
While sharing their secret of their happy wedded life, which was filled with mutual understanding and less arguments, they have made best use of their wedded life in travelling various parts of the world, like Singapore, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Houston-USA among other places, and their advice to the newly married couples is to follow their way of life by being loyal to each other, mutual understanding, sacrifices, give and take policy, settle problems if any in a peaceful manner- and “If we could handle our married life for 43 years so happily, you too can do it” added the Nayaks.
MICHAEL T V MASCARENHAS & ALICE MARY MASCARENHAS -Happily married for 52 years
Born on 22 January 1937, Michael did his schooling and college (B Sc) at St Aloysius High School & College, Mangaluru and later pursued PG in Fish Processing Technology, after which he started his own Fish Canning and Freezer Company in Mukka, exporting seafood to foreign countries like USA, Japan, England and others, since 1964. He was the president of Lady hill PTA, president of Mukka Welfare Society; Trustee of Xavier Education Trust; Charter member of Lions Club of Surathkal for 51 years, and has been a big contributor towards activities of the Club; also an active member of Bejai Church Senior Citizens organization. You can say that “Age is just a number” in the case of Michael, who keeps himself active in various projects and activities.
Alice Mary Mascarenhas was born on 10 August 1946, did her Schooling and college ( B A) at St Agnes College, Mangaluru, and later remained a housewife after marriage. Their wedding took place in 1969, where Michael was 32 years and Alice was 22 years of age, and happily married thereafter, they are proud parents of two girls- Sunitha (a rank holder in PUC and CA studies) and Shaila ( a national volleyball player) and a boy- Anoop. Their secret to a happy married life was give and take policy; understanding each other; respect and love each other; and being faithful and truthful.
Their advice to the present generation of couples is- Have patience which is very much needed these days; understand and respect each other; console each other in times of problems or distress; build love and commit to it forever; be courteous and grateful; Don’t expect perfection; and don’t go to bed angry!.
Well said by all these Vintage and happily married couples-let me conclude in my perspective- Not every day will be perfect, or even good, and that has to be okay. Talk about the imperfections and the pain points. Don’t beat yourselves up. The old adage says marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. And some days will feel like an obstacle course where you have to carry your spouse up a mountain and through a pit of mud. Obsessing over whether you have a strong marriage or whether you’re doing everything “right” are great ways to set yourself up for failure.
The most sage advice I read in a magazine from an Orthodox Jewish wife and mother in Jerusalem, raising six children. “It’s easy to lose yourself in a marriage,” she said. “It’s easy to nurture your husband and your relationship and forget about nurturing yourself. Take the time off to reset, and your marriage will be better for it.” Ending this column on a lighter side of the vein of a couple in Mangaluru- The Pinto’s are routinely asked about their secret to their record-setting longevity together. “Never go to bed at night with a chip on your shoulder, and be glad you’re with each other,” Pedru said. They also have maintained their sense of humor all these years. Pedru was asked what life would be like without his special valentine. “Well, I don’t know,” he said. “I never tried it.” “And he better not,” Sherpinebai, his wife said.