Remembering Husband’s (Late John Peris) 10th Death Anniversary Tilly Peris Shares Lunch with Inmates of Prajna Counselling Centre (PCC) in Ujjody, Mangaluru
Mangaluru: “Ten long years have passed quickly July 23, 2011 to July 23, 2021, since you said bye to me Dearest John. Yet, it is like ten long days and I am still close to you and you are close to me in spirit. You are the ONLY SPECIAL PERSON in my life. Most Loving Husband, taking for me the place of Mother, Father, Brother, Child and Friend. Dearest John, I Miss You! I love you and I know that there was only ONE like you. I have tears of joy not with pain, Jesus has given me the strength to bear separation for now and make it a stairway. We were together for FIFTY YEARS and celebrated our ‘Silver’ and ‘Golden’ Wedding. Your deep love for Jesus and every one of us is treasured. You were a diabetic for more than fifty years and not one day did I hear you complain. Your true LOVE, PATIENCE and GOODNESS helped me immensely in my life, even now, it will always be till we meet…BYE JOHN MY “DAL”….YOUR BELOVED and LOVING—-TILLY”- those were kind words of wisdom expressed with true love towards her husband, Late John Peris, on his 10th Death Anniversary by his wife, Tilly Peris. It is also totally understandable; losing a partner after FIFTY years of marriage is utterly devastating. I don’t think anyone can ever really be prepared for such a loss. It is just too much to try to wrap your head around until it happens. Even then, it can feel almost unreal. Sometimes, people even feel like their grief serves as a connection to their lost loved ones, and they cling to it as a means of remaining connected. The loss of a loved one is a universal experience, but everyone’s grieving process is unique and there is not a one-size-fits-all approach. And even after ten years of losing her dear husband, Aunty Tilly has him still in her heart and still loves him.
LATE JOHN PERIS ( 12 June 1924- 23 July 2011)
This kind of grief is something that you overcome so much as work through and process in your own way. It has to be terrible to lose a spouse, especially when you finally feel that you have lost the love of your life. In small measurable ways you are once again at some point able to find a little happiness in your life as you still have many more years to live yourself. “My faith is very important to me and I believe that my dear John is in a better place, but I wish that he was here with me instead,” said Aunty Tilly with sadness.
Late John Peris and Tilly Peris
The bond between a husband and a wife is unlike no other. The husband is the wife’s rock, always strong, stable, powerful, and brave. The future is uncertain, and the wife or family needs all the love and support that they can get from friends and family. He may have gone from this world, but know that you will never be alone. The shock, the pain, the denial, the anger, and the loneliness will soon follow the loss of a husband. It will be an emotional and tumultuous time. Some days, the pain will be unbearable. There will be days when you will just start wondering what good life will be if you no longer have the husband who promised to be by your side until the end.
Some days, you will have a moment of clarity. If the bond of husband and wife is strong, even death cannot take them apart. They may be gone from this world, but they will never be gone from your heart. The moments of love will forever be alive, and the memories that you shared over the years will forever remain. It’s not how long a man lives in this world but how deeply he was loved and how big he lived his life. And that has been the case in Aunty Tilly Peris Life after losing her husband ten years ago, but she has remained strong through prayers and support from her dear and near ones, and she tries to keep her happy- and she is always seen SMILING all the time
Tilly says, “John truly had a way of making people feel important, because he could see everyone’s potential. He loved me and treated me like a queen because it’s the little things that he did that I now miss so much, since his death. He was one of the people I knew who lived his life to the fullest. He was a great man who left an incredible legacy. May all the beautiful memories that we shared together give me comfort and peace. Knowing that true love lives forever, I will always cherish that gift of love even today. John was my rock and my best friend for 50 years. Even now that he’s gone, there is happiness in the love that we shared”. .
It was 23 July 2021 that John Peris left to Heaven, and in remembrance of his 10th Death Anniversary, her wife Tilly Peris didn’t wanted to release an remembrance ad in a newspaper spending big bucks, instead she decided to host a lunch for the inmates of Prajna Integrated Rehabilitation Centre for Addicts (IRCA), which is part of Prajna Counselling Centre in Ujjody, Mangaluru, aided by the Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment-Govt of India. The nearly two dozen men who are recovering from addiction were happy to join in this programme paying respect and tribute to the portrait of Late John Peris, by showering flower petals. The team at this Centre namely- Anand Kunder (Counsellor); Vasanth Kudroli ( Ward Boy); Lokesh Shetty (Driver); Shashikala and Kusuma (Both Cooks); Ms Priyanka (Counsellor); Ms Chandrakala ( Staff Nurse); Ms Mallika C (Staff Nurse) and Bharathi ( Maintenance) among others also paid respect and showered flower petals on John’s portrait.
Mrs Hilda Rayappan-the Director of Prajna Counselling Centre welcomed the gathering and gave a brief history of Prajna Counselling Centre and its journey since it started in the year 1991, and changed the lives of over 33,000 addicts till date. (More on her speech watch video below). Ms Celine Mathais- Counselor/Volunteer at Prajna spoke on the activities she makes the inmates to get themselves involved (More on her speech watch the video below) . Following a religious song by one of the inmates, it was time to savour the sumptuous lunch sponsored by Aunty Tilly Peris. The vote of thanks was delivered by Counselor at PCC Arvind Kunder. What a perfect way to remember a departed soul through a very simple and meaningful programme, rather than going for a publicity stunt in a newspaper.
In conclusion, here is a thought-provoking message- the loss of a husband becomes even more painful when he has always been good, kind, generous, and loving to you. A good family man is a treasure. There may be a few regrets because no marriage is perfect, but the good things always outnumber the bad. Aunty Tilly’s heart will always be full of love, and she can be comforted by the fact that her husband loved her as much as she loved him. She was truly blessed to have such a husband, one of the best people she met, a devoted husband, and a true friend. What hurts her only makes her more courageous. Here she is at the young age of 83, still standing and staying strong.
She always thinks about all the gifts that she is grateful for and knows that God is responsible for them, and will always be present in her life, and He will make all things possible, since she is a devoted person believing strongly in her faith and God. On 23 July we celebrated the life of her husband. Though he may no longer be with her and us physically, his memories will live on forever. May Aunty Tilly find peace and comfort knowing that he loved her very much. Even after ten years of his death, if she is feeling sad, she will never forget that he was a great man. Her husband has left her with wonderful memories. Let his love be her guide.