Mass Marriage at Rosario Cathedral

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  1. I read the invitation card and this is very good. It is very helpful for the needy couples to tie the knot. I wish them all the best and a very happy and contented life.

    I western marriages, just limited people are invited and there is a lot of fun. Hoeowever, in Indian marrages hundreds of people are invited and weddings can be noisy and disorganized.

    In most American weddings, there are 40 to 50 guests from both sides. However, many Americans go for civil marriages, where two to four people are required to sign the marriage certificate as witnesses. I saw the wedding photo of a friend’s son’s wedding in America to a white lady. Probably, around 12 persons attended the wedding, including the priest or pastor.

  2. Nelson,
    Most of American marriages end up in divorces. I don’t think we should blindly follow American culture.

    • Mr. Ranjit D’Souza,

      In my post I mentioned that in India, whether one can afford it or not the more the people invited for the wedding, the merrier it is. Indians has a p.c.i. of $ 1,600 but invite hundreds and thousands of people, but Americans have a p.c.i. of, I reckon, $ 30,000 but invite at the maximum 40 to 50 people.

      In the 1970s, a grand wedding by American stands was that of President Richard Nixon’s (of Watergate scandal fame) daughter with President Dwight Eisenhower’s grandson, because the guest list was 200. For readers who are not aware of the background of President Dwight Eisenhower, he was Gen. Dwight Eisenhower, the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, a five star general.

  3. Ranjith,
    Enslaving wife, or husband to that matter, in the marriage is not American culture and that is one of the reasons the divorce rates are high in the US. However, those who stay married, live happy life. Marriages are personal choice and families have hands-off attitudes in USA. Age, religion, color, nationality no bar. Now a days same sex marriages are also legal in the USA. However, one has to be faithful to his/her partner — no cheating.

    Divorce rates are catching up in India too as women are getting educated and see the reality of life as against the cultural pressure, male domination and in-laws harassment. If one conducts a secret survey and assuming all answers are honest, the percentage of divorce seeking couple will not be less than USA, if not higher.

    Nelson never mentioned to follow American culture rather highlighted the unnecessary expenses incurred in Indian marriages. People show false pride and prestige by lavishly spending on weddings and then suffer financial hardship.

    I strongly suggest that the Catholic Bishops should pass decree saying all marriages shall be celebrated as community marriages once in a month in their respective parishes. Anyone wanted to have special celebration shall pay Rupees two lakhs to the Church which can be used for community marriage fund. Why not? My nephew paid Rs.1 lakh for photo album, Rs.20,000 to a stupid MC who talks the same thing every weddings and Rs.15,000 for lip singing pre-recorded songs. Now his wife delivered a baby and he is complaining about the temporary domestic maid to look after the mother and child for 40 days (BaLthik Posuvnk) demanding Rs.25,000. I told him that he should have used his iPhone for the wedding pictures and developed them in photo shop software!! Bha Humbug

  4. Adopting American attitudes towards family and marriage is crazy. There is a tendency among Mangaloreans/Indians settled in the US to blindly adopt the values of their neighbors without thinking through the implications and consequences of the values. Almost half the marriages in America end in divorce. The statistics on out of wedlock births are shocking. Among non-Hispanic blacks, the figure is highest, at 72.2 percent; for American Indians/Alaska Natives, it’s 66.9 percent; 53.5 percent for Hispanics; 29.4 percent for non-Hispanic whites; and 17.1 percent for Asians/Pacific Islanders.

  5. Mr. Ranjit D’Souza,

    I am very well aware that the divorce rate in America is high. This is very much catching up in India too, especially in the metropolises, cities and towns. Many Indian couples are divorcing or separating. In none-too-distant past, couples would stick around and not divorce or separate even though there was no compatibility in their marriages and life was sheer hell. This was to avoid strong social stigmas and boycotts and facing embarrassing situations from the community, society and outside world.

    I reckon the per capita income in America is $ 30,000 and they invite 40 to 50 people for their weddings. Whereas, India’s per capita income is a mere $ 1,600 and they invite in some cases hundreds and in some cases thousands of people and there have been cases when stadiums (where international cricket matches are played) have been booked for such events. Is this some Bandra Fair or some Camel Fair at Pushkar in Rajasthan?

    My penultimate para should set your doubts at rest.

  6. Not sayin that all marriages in India are happy. We Indians take marriages very seriously and we believe in compromise and sacrifice for the sake of family. In Western culture people have no patience and they divorce over silly fights. What about those kids? See the disaster in American society. Millions of kids with no parents. Do you want the same problem in Catholics also? Mangalorean Catholics are blindly following american culture. Speaking English and no Konkani. Do you want to live with a person and make babies before marrying her? Don’t blindly follow. Not everything coming from West is good.

  7. Mr. Ranjit D’Souza,

    I believe I am broad-minded, have a live-and-let-live attitude, am practical and sane and not stupid. Let me come to the point of Konkanni, since you have raised it.

    As regards Konkanni, in all fairness, may I correct you that it is not a language (as it does not have an indepdent script and is not widely spoken), but a dialect embraced and spoken by small sections in Maharashtra, Goa and Karnataka. Knowing it is very good and I encourage it for sakes of culture and tradition and am all for it. But parents living in metropolises like Delhi, Bombay, Calcutta. etc., cannot impose it on children, where it is a different ball game and life is an challenge in an utter and highly competitve world. In metropolises, the children’s studies, study of English, Hindi, a regional language and a foreign langiage and all round development takes a precedence. Considering the scenario in metropolises, few children have the time and inclination to study this dialect.

    Mangalore and villages in its surround are not metropolises, but remote places and backyards, cut off from the outside world, barring a few Mangaloreans who have travelled outside and are highly liberated and consider the world as their oyster and their views are not limied to happenings in Baikadi, Pangla, and Puttar.

    However, this dialect has little scope for employment or anything. Are you, Ranjit, in employment or business or getting your bread-and-butter or are abroad, because of your mastery in Konkanni? Put your hand on your heart and speak the truth. If that was so, then there was no need for studying English, German, French, Spanish and other languages that have international stature and are not limited to community, State or Nation. Due to your mastery over Konkanni you would have said, “Khool ja, Sim, Sim,” and that would have been your master key for all solutions. Probably, by learning and knowing Konkanni very well, one can be community’s drama actor or singer. The late Wilfy Remimbus and the few singers that one can count on one’s fingers are an exception.

    Wilfy Remimbus, who was very popular with certain sections of Mangaloreans and they compare his singing talents with a nightingale or cuckoo, visited an overseas counry where I was and I was given a complimentary pass by the Club President and told, “Nelson, since you are a collector of some things, including autographs, why do you not attend Wilfy’s programme and take his autograph?”

    I laughed and replied, “Wilfy may be a great singer for some members of his community, however, he is not even a State level singer, forget having a National or International stature and therefore his autograph has no monetary value. He is a community singer and may have toured a few countries, where Mangalorean Catholics are cncentrated. I do not personally approach personalities to collect their autographs and depend on my penmanship. I will attend the programme, but am not interested in his autograph.” I did attend the programme, was introduced to Wilfy Remimbus and spoke to him. He may have been a good soul, but i found him to be a naivete and a simpleton.

    If one has an autograph of Michael Jackson, he could get at least Rs. 40,000 if it were sold.

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