With the enormous hype attached to the cyber weddings, here?s an episode that clobbered my mind.
About a friend of mine, who used to be chirpy and always a happy-go-lucky kind of, as helpful and kind in nature. She would be glad in the little things in life, like watching the little children play, sharing jokes with her friends, etc. Being the eldest at home, she had to shoulder all the responsibilities; her family was the most wonderful gift that she possessed & she would do anything and everything to keep them happy. A few days ago when I met her, she seemed so beautiful to me, one could observe the changes, the gleam in her eyes, a content smile on her face, as though she has had everything in her life. I just could not resist asking her the reason for this transformation. I asked her ? Friend?. What is the matter? You look beautiful? She simply blushed. I knew there was something fishy, but whatever the reasons, I was keen in knowing them and I insisted until she confided her little story? She was from a simple god-fearing family, who deemed in strong family values. To support her family she was working out of the country. Her life had impressed quite a few in the neighborhood. A few families came forward to have her as daughter-in-law for what she was. She would simply refuse them thinking about her family. What if her in-laws do not permit her to support her parents? She kept on refusing all the good proposals that had come knocking at her doorsteps.
Years passed by, it was now she realized that it is high time for her to be settled in life, though deep within she somehow was still not convinced. At her friend?s persistence, she finally registered in one of those matchmaking sites. A couple of them did write to her. A few mails and they would simply stop writing, may be she was not an extrovert, or maybe because they simply did not like her as she feels that she is not good looking. Then finally she received a message from this person who was working in Europe. They both started chatting. Days turned to Months, and it went on. She simply liked him. While she unveiled the new twist in her life, I did not even realize that it was late already and had to leave. I was glad that happiness loomed in my friend?s life and wished that she be happy always. Due to the hectic schedule, I left the office late and somehow could not get in touch with her for several months.
It was just few days back when I again met her. I was shocked to see her. This time she looked so depressed, dejected, and sad, the gleam in her eyes could no more be seen, the smile on her face vanished, & she looked so soft as if she had lost something precious. I somehow mustered some courage in asking her, why dear? What?s wrong? She started sobbing, with her expressions it was quite sure that the boy might have refused, but why would he say no? She had always praises for him, that he is honest, affectionate, straightforward, considerate, loving, so on, and so forth. Then what is it that held him back? Tears rolled from her eyes, while she said, the boy simply called their relationship a mere stupidity. Why should it hurt her so much? How can she be stupid enough to blindly carry on such kind of a relationship? Weird though? She had never seen him before nor met him either, how could she love him? She loved him so deeply. She still hopes that she would see him someday. Is it possible to fall in love with someone without even knowing personally? When he knew that he was not ready for any commitments, then why did he write to her? I was all at sea, as these questions haunted me. I simply was watching her cry, not getting the right words to comfort her.
I wonder why do we have to take up to these Match Makers. How far can we trust them? However, there might be some genuine persons, but still it is so risky. The person may be writing to you from the next door and claim that he is in Europe. How can you judge the authenticity?
One more feature that contemplates is about supporting the family. Why is that a girl cannot support her family after her marriage. Is it that they are not her parents anymore, just because she is married? Do they not have any right on her? What about those hapless parents who have no sons at all? Who do they look for in their old age? I do not say that she should bequeath her in-laws though, but she can at least support her family financially. Gleefully, I too registered on one of these sites hoping to find someone nice, but now when I see her I feel it is just a fantasy, which would take you nowhere.
Author: Juliet Gomes- UAE